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Many of the weddings I have coordinated have had an open bar for guests to drink alcohol complimentary. Unfortunately, some of those weddings have resulted in either the bride in tears or the bride shocking the guests.
An open bar is also known as a hosted bar and serves guests alcohol during a wedding for free or has a time limit. The host has pre-paid for this service as part of the bar package. Most open bars at a wedding will serve drinks for five hours maximum.
I have coordinated three different weddings that included a hosted bar that was open for over five hours, and shots were also being served. This is what happened as a result.
What Does an Open Bar Mean at a Wedding?
The wedding host will pay the bar bill/tab and there is no payment transaction between the wedding guests and the bartender.
Is it Common to Have an Open Bar at a Wedding?
Having an open bar at a wedding is common between one to four hours. However, most weddings will host a bar for one hour during the cocktail hour. Then the bar will switch to a cash bar where guests pay for their drinks during the reception.
Is it Rude to not Have an Open Bar at a Wedding?
Not offering an open/hosted bar to guests at a wedding is not considered rude. Instead, some venues will offer free water, juice, and soda with a cash bar. Or set up a complimentary self-serve water station for guests. Another more affordable option for weddings is a hosted soft bar, which only includes beer and wine (no hard liquor).
Sample Hosted Bar Package (most venues will require approx. 40 person minimum):
| Hours | Guests | Multiply | Soft Bar Domestic Beer, House Wine, Soda & Juice | Standard Bar Domestic Beer, House Wine, Well Drinks, Soda & Juice | Premium Bar All Beer, All Wines, Premium Drinks, Shots, Soda & Juice | Add $18%-22% Service Charge |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 100 | X | $12.00 Per Person | $13.00 Per Person | $14.00 Per Person | Yes |
| 2 | 100 | X | $18.00 Per Person | $20.00 Per Person | $26.00 Per Person | Yes |
| 3 | 100 | X | $24.00 Per Person | $25.00 Per Person | $32.00 Per Person | Yes |
Example: A standard hosted bar for 3 hours for 100 guests (100 x $20.00) = $2,000.00++
(++ = service charge and tax)
Tipping the Bar:
Depending on the open bar arrangements, tipping is either paid by the host of the wedding, or guests will tip the bar directly. If a tip-jar is not present, tipping was most likely covered by the host.
Shots:
Many venues will not allow the bar to offer shots at a wedding, regardless of the bar being hosted or a cash bar.
Story Time #1 – The Drunk Mother of the Bride
In 2010, at a wedding I coordinated in San Diego, CA, the bride’s mother took the mic away from her ex-husband (the father of the bride) and began giving a speech. The mother of the bride aka MOB had already consumed one too many Irish Car Bomb shots prior with the groomsmen.
The MOB’s 60-second speech went on for about 59 seconds longer than it needed to be and will go down as the worst toast I have ever heard. The MOB ended her speech by saying the following slurred words to her daughter (the bride) and a venue filled with 125 guests: “Darlin’, I want you to always remember one thing, the pussy has the power.”
The mic dropped to the ground, and you could hear crickets afterward. The bride didn’t speak to her mother for the rest of the evening.
Story Time #2 – The Drunk Maid of Honor Speech
In 2012, I coordinated a wedding where the maid of honor gave her speech after knocking back six tequila shots. As you can imagine, it didn’t end well. The maid of honor could barely stand up (or speak), and we were all embarrassed for her.
The maid of honor went on to tell a story to the 145 guests about how she and the bride had a drunken night back in college. As the story went, the bride and maid of honor stole two bikes after a party and then rode the bikes to a police station, where they left the bikes. However, it got worse, and the two then peed on the lawn of the police station.
At this point, I looked over at the bride, and she gave me a gesture to make it stop by sliding her right hand across her neck. The DJ and I moved in, and the maid of honor attempted to dodge us, but fortunately, her boyfriend intervened and grabbed the mic.
The maid of honor had more to share, but thank goodness the mic was turned off just as the following words left her lips, “Then on spring break in Mexico…”
Story Time #3 – The Drunk Bride
This was another wedding I coordinated in 2012, where the bride was served one too many hot toddies (hot water, whiskey, honey, and lemon).
By the end of the evening, the bride was stumbling, so I helped her walk to the shuttle that was taking her and the wedding party on a three-mile ride to their hotel. The groom was no help at this point and was smoking a cigar with his best man.
I had a hold of the bride’s elbow, and just as she was about to take a step to board the shuttle, she stopped and closed her eyes. I waited for a moment and then realized what was happening. The bride was peeing in her wedding dress. She then said, “Whoops, I did it again.”
Offer DIY Late Night Snacks
The last hour of the wedding is a great time to set up a Late Night Snack bar and Non-Alcoholic Beverages to Hydrate.
~ Check out my article, Paying for Your Own Wedding: Interviews with 9 couples ~
Conclusion
In my opinion, an open bar is not necessary for the entire wedding. A hosted soft bar is a good option, including beer, wine, and soda. Then guests can pay for mixed drinks. I would also discourage shots from being served. Unfortunately bartenders, over-serving alcohol can happen. Or sometimes, guests will sneak alcohol into a wedding.
All things to keep in mind when designing your wedding and what is best for you, and your guests’ safety.
*** Check out my article Wedding Floor Plan Layout ***
~ Happy planning and enjoy your wedding day steps ~